Giving Up

It's time to let the evil out
It's time to open up the wound
It's time to let the blood run out

Watch the blood
Watch how it moves down the arm
Watch how it forms a puddle on the floor

See the bright color of red
See how it covers everything
See how it stains the room

Observe the site
Observe how hope was lost
Observe the end of a journey

No more pain
No more despair
No more everything

(written sometime btwn 1/23/09 - 1/25/09)

Happiness Gone

Happiness...
Where did you go?
Why did you leave me?
Why are you hiding?
When will you come back?
Are you going to be gone forever?
Did I do something wrong?
Do you hate me?
Are you punishing me?
Is this funny to you?
Are you getting a good laugh?
Do I deserve this betrayal?

Happiness...
You left me a year ago!
I haven't heard from you!
You have betrayed me!
I trusted you!
I thought we would be together forever!
I was wrong!
I was definitely wrong!!!

(written sometime btwn 1/23/09 - 1/25/09)

My Pain

I cry yet no one hears
I cry out still no one hears
No one hears for I cry in my head

No one wants to listen
No one wants to be bothered
It's my pain
Mine alone

Where are they
Where are the people who say they care
I don't see them
I don't hear them

I'm all alone
Alone with my tears
I cry yet no one hears
I cry out still no one hears

I wish someone would hear
Why can't they hear

(written 1/14/09)

Tug-Of-War

I feel the war raging inside me
The war between two sides
Each trying so desperately to win
Each putting the pressure on the other
Which one will win
Which one will lose

Two sides tugging to pull the other into their pit
The pit of life
The pit of death
Which one will win
Which one will lose

Good vs. Evil
Love vs. Hate
Life vs. Death
Which one will win
Which one will lose

Each side fighting so hard
It's tearing me apart
I'm about to be ripped to shreds
I feel like I'm the one who will lose

Two sides at war
Two sides pulling
I'm in the middle
Which one will win
Which one will lose
Me that's who
I'm the one who will lose

(written 1/9/09)

Dare To Live

When the voices tell you otherwise - Dare To Live

When life's storms come your way - Dare To Live

When people tear you down instead of build you up - Dare To Live

Dare To Live - Give your heart to Jesus

Dare To Live - Surrender your all to Him

Dare To Live - Allow Jesus to be in control

Dare To Live!


(written 7/13/09)

Little Star

Twinkle twinkle little star
You're one in a zillion
You look so small from here
You must be so far away
God knows all about you
He created you for a reason
Why? You might ask
Only He knows the answer
He has a plan for you
He wants you to shine
You have a purpose
Please don't go away
You are needed
You are special
You were created by God
The Creator of the Universe
What could be better than that


(written 2/15/09)

He Came To Die

He left Heaven's glory...to die.
He came as a baby...to die.
He grew into a teenager...to die.
He became an adult...to die.
He walked this earth...to die.
He loved us all enough...to die.

(written 3/8/10)

Letting Go

Here in my hands I'm holding on
To the thing that separates me from You
I'm not wanting to let go
But knowing that's what I must do

Knowing You want the best for me
Doesn't make it any easier
The pain I feel overwhelms me
My eyes are filled with tears

But if I am to allow You
To be Lord of my life
I need to let go of my desires
In the midst of this strife

So, Lord, I open my hands
This is the best I can do
Please take this thing
That separates me from You

(written 1/5/10)

Please, Don't Leave Me

When the urge to cut comes my way
Please, don't leave me

When thoughts of suicide enter my mind
Please, don't leave me

When my mood shifts from good to bad
Please, don't leave me

When the symptoms of BPD get the best of me
Please, don't leave me

But instead...

Please, teach me to trust people again

Please, help me to believe in myself

Please, let me know that you care

Please, encourage me when life seems so dark

Whatever you do...
Please, don't give up on me
Please, don't leave me
I need to know you care!


(written 8/9/09)